


Wormily Ever After

by lordhellebore



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien, TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works
Genre: Character Death, Crack, Crossover, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-01-03
Updated: 2006-01-03
Packaged: 2017-11-03 23:59:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/387405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lordhellebore/pseuds/lordhellebore
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When two worms meet . . .</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wormily Ever After

One day, Peter accidentally created a ~~plot hole~~ hole in reality that brought him to a strange, different world. After having wandered it for several days - Isn't it wonderful that I, unlike other authors of "My character is miraculously transported to Middle Earth" stories, don't have to worry about our hero's physical well-being, because he can conjure food and water? So convenient! - he finally met a man with long, greasy black hair and black robes, pale, sallow skin and... no, it wasn't Snape, you drooling fangirls! Now go write a Mary Sue fic about him bedding you! AS IF!

Ahem... well, where was I? Oh, yes....

"Greetings, stranger," the man said. "My name is Gríma, but everyone calls me Wormtongue. I am an ugly, disagreeable opportunist. I betrayed my king and people to serve an evil wizard who wishes to rule the world."

"My name is Peter," Peter replied, "but everyone calls me Wormtail. I am an ugly, disagreeable opportunist. I betrayed my friends and my Order to serve an evil wizard who wishes to rule the world."

They stared at one another in wonder for several moments.

"It is destiny!" Gríma exclaimed.

"It is love!" Peter rejoiced.

They fell into each other's arms, kissed, and made love under the stars.

And they lived wormily ever after.

.........

_Epilogue:_

Voldemort later on discovered the passage, and because he felt lonely - you know all an evil overlord needs is love and a family, right? - he sent an owl with a letter through it, inviting anyone who might receive it to become his pen pal. He received an answer from Saruman, and after several months of long letters about the pains of being evil wizards wishing to rule the world, they decided to meet. At once, they fell passionately in love, but when it came to sex, they killed each other in an argument about who should top. 

Neither of them wanted to.


End file.
